my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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