sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
