Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
