do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
