THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm just crazy horny about you
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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