My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm always down for nudity.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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