Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
