I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
