I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
