She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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