Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
