Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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