If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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