what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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