If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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