What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
