I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
