My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
