i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
