yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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