Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
