I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
