I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
