There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
