Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i think i just lost a toe
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
