I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he was CRYING into my vagina
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You are a genius and a whore.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
