just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
