Dual....:-)
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
