on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
