Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
