i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
