Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
