just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
