some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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