You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize