At least make sure they are 18
Why
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
