4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
