We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
