Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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