Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
