the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
