I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
