just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
