oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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