so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
