Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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