My friends, they love my intelligence
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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