I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
