We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Alive.
So much puke
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
