I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
