we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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