Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
