every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
So vagazzling was a success
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