and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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