I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My dick has a subreddit
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
