Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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