so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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