it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
