she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
