Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
