Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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